Archive for July, 2017

Do you often give yourself a hard time when you’re not feeling great? Do you tell yourself that you shouldn’t be feeling that way? Do you try to ignore how you’re feeling and put on a brave face to those around you? Do you perhaps take it out on someone who doesn’t really deserve it? 

Or, do you feel bad that you are feeling bad?

You’re not alone! I sometimes wake up with a sense of dread at facing my to do list! I feel like I’m racing against the clock and it’s overwhelming. I feel like I don’t always have the energy to face the day and it doesn’t feel good.

When negative emotions shows up, the tendency is to ignore how you are feeling, or to sweep it under the carpet and hope that it might go away. Ignoring how you are feeling generally gives it fuel to continue and make you feel worse. 

So, try these 3 steps and give yourself a break for a few minutes when any negative feelings keep showing up and trying to ruin your day:

  1. Acknowledge – notice exactly how you’re feeling right now. Admit to yourself that you are feeling low and don’t have your usual energy and enthusiasm. 
  2. Accept – it’s ok to feel a bit rubbish. No one has limitless energy and there are times when things are tough. Perhaps there’s something going on and you need time to work though the challenge. 
  3. Allow – give yourself permission to have a bad day. Nothing is permanent and your feelings and emotions are always changing. Know it will pass. Maybe not right now, but perhaps later today or tomorrow. 

We give ourselves a hard time when we’re not feeling great. We are often our own worst critic. 

Notice the internal mind chatter. Are you giving yourself a hard time? Can you be kinder to yourself? After all, kindness starts within :). 

Remember: start small, and build from there. 


Are you someone who is always hopeful? Are you hopeful that everything will work out just fine?  Are you hopeful that you’ll meet the perfect partner, or that the perfect job will come your way? How about hoping that someone else will change so that things get a bit less stressful? Or are you hopeful that things will just somehow work out and resolve themselves?

Or are you someone who trusts? Do you have a quiet belief deep down that things are working out perfectly, and so you keep moving yourself towards what you want? Do you know that everything will work out for the best no matter what the current situation?

There is a difference between hope and trust. I often discuss this with my clients, and this is how I define the difference…

Hope, for me, is when we become attached to an outcome that we believe will make us happy. We quietly hope that something somewhere will happen, but we don’t quite believe that things are fully in our control. We continue to hope that some external event(s) will occur and only then will we be able to relax and know that everything will be ok. But if it doesn’t happen we are disappointed and wonder what we did wrong or what we did to deserve disappointment. 

Trust, on the other hand, is an acknowledgement that whatever the outcome, everything will work out perfectly even if we can’t see it right now. In a space of trust we are able to acknowledge our current situation without judgement or worry.  We somehow find ways to improve things and start doing something differently. We know we are fully in control and we keep moving towards our goals or ambitions. We don’t give up, no matter what. We have complete trust in ourselves and that we will get there. 

I recognise that there are some things in my life I just know will happen and there are other things that I hope will happen. 

Guess which things actually happen? When I know and believe something is going to happen, everything I do takes me closer to my goal. I take different actions, I start to do things differently and I become unstoppable!

After all, how can we expect different results by doing the same things over and over?

So what can we do to trust more? Recognising where we are hopeful is the first step.

Ask yourself:

  • What am I hoping for right now? 
  • Where do I keep seeing the same results showing up time and time again?
  • What am I doing right now that might be keeping me stuck?
  • What one (small) thing can I change about the way I am doing things? 

As you start to do things differently you will also start to see different results. As you move forward you will trust more that it will happen, and you will get excited as you quickly see things changing.

Remember Start small. Recognising one thing in our life where we are not achieving the things we hope for is the first step to making a change. How much do you want that outcome? What are you no longer prepared to put up with? What are you willing to change so that you begin to trust it will absolutely happen?


3 Easy Mindfulness Exercises You Can Start Today


How often do you get somewhere and wonder, ‘How on earth did I get here?’ Do you remember anything at all about the journey? Were you distracted by what you had to do later, or something that happened earlier? Are you going through life in this way, and wondering how you got to where you are today?
When we stop our minds from wondering off to the past or future, even just for a moment, we create a little bit of space and stillness.

Things appear to slow down a little, and we have successfully created a moment of mindfulness. We have become aware of what’s going on in that very moment.  It is my belief that with this awareness we create a little more control over our situations and can therefore change the outcome. We show up in our own lives, fully engaged.
Here are a few easy exercises that I regularly practice in order to slow things down for just a few minutes. In fact I’m still practicing, but they’ve truly changed my life for the better!! A few minutes is all you need to start with. 

  1. Deep breathing. How deeply do you breathe? My guess is not very deeply at all. Mostly we breathe using only the top part of our lungs, which means that we rarely exchange the air in the bottom parts of our lungs. Taking deeper breaths improves our health, it reduces stress and ensures that all our organs (including the skin) can function optimally.
    We can do this in moments where we are waiting in a queue, for someone to answer the phone, for the kettle to boil or perhaps washing our hands.This really is a simple way to feel better very quickly!
      – Focus on your breathing for one minute.
      – Take 10 breaths in and 10 breaths out without forcing it
      – As you inhale, repeat the word ‘inhale’ to yourself
      – As you exhale, repeat the word ‘exhale’ to yourself
      – This gives the mind something else to focus on
      – And allow your breathing to find its own natural rhythm.You will find that your breathing naturally starts to slow down and you begin to breathe a little more deeply. You will feel calmer and more relaxed .
  2. Mindful walking. On your next walk become aware of what you are doing, how you are feeling and what your surroundings look like. As you spend more time right in the moment, your mind can let go of anything that you might have to do in the future, or things that you are still holding on to from the past.As you walk to your next destination, start to notice a few different things. Does the weight fall evenly through your left and right feet? How do your feet touch the ground? Begin to notice how your body works and feels. Then slowly expand your awareness outwards to your surroundings.  What do you see? What have you walked passed daily and failed to notice? How are you feeling?
  3. Gratitude lists. What are you grateful for? Often it’s the really small things we are most grateful for – a kind word, the smell of coffee, birds singing. In becoming aware of the small things we realise how many great things that happen every single day.At the end of each day, write down 3 things that you are grateful for today. What brought a smile to your face? Perhaps it was the sunshine, the smell of summer rain or spending an evening with a friend who really listened. Perhaps someone said a kind word? Mostly, it’s the really simple things we are the most grateful for. Could you perhaps find 5, 10 or 20 things you are grateful for each day?

    It’s amazing what we can take for granted.

    Start to recognise what you are grateful for as these things are happening too, rather than only at the end of the day…

    A recent study on gratitude 
    by Psychologist Robert Emmons found people who kept a gratitude journal were 25% happier than those who just kept a journal of routine daily.

Remember Start small. Just start with one moment at a time. When you recognise that your mind has wondered then bring your attention back to the moment. Even if that’s just 10 seconds. Giving your mind a rest for 10 seconds is better than nothing.

Start with just a few minutes for each exercise. When you realise your mind has wandered off and become distracted then start again, by bringing your awareness back to this very moment. A few minutes is all you need to start with. As you practice these exercises you will find the one that works best for you, and you will begin to get better at creating more of those spaces.

Something amazing starts to change about the quality of your days and weeks. And then your life. You are less stressed, less anxious, less tired. Instead you find yourself calmer, quieter, directing your life where you choose it to go and becoming more alert with more energy.

If you are interested in working one-on-one with me, then I offer 5 FREE mindfulness coaching sessions every month.  
To reserve a place before they book up, CLICK HERE.

Mindfulness is a hot topic at the moment. But are you still wondering what it’s all about, and how it can benefit you?
Life is busy, and it seems to be getting busier. We seem to be doing things faster than ever before to keep up. And that causes us to get stressed or to feel like we can’t stop, even for a second, to catch our breath. We get carried away with what might be. We can get stressed about all the things we need to get done. We can get stuck in the past and wish it had been different. Perhaps we hope that someone else might change so our life will get a bit easier. Or maybe we get caught in the fantasy about something we cannot control. Sound familiar?
But does it really have to be this way? What about right now, this very moment that we are experiencing? Is that not more important? After all it’s the only thing we have complete control over.
So, what is mindfulness? Mindfulness is bringing our attention to what we are doing right now in this very moment, rather than letting our minds wander off to the past or the future. When we are not mindful we get swept along, not fully engaged in what’s going on, so things just happen to us, and often not in the way we want.
But when we bring our full focus and attention to the present moment we give ourselves choices in the moment, and have an opportunity to powerfully change the way things play out. 
How do I become more mindful? We can make a start by being fully engaged in this moment. The next time you are having a conversation with someone, notice where your attention goes. Does your mind wander off? Are you thinking about what you want to say, or are you focusing on everything the other person is saying? Are you really listening? Are you aware of what’s going on around you? The people, the noises, the smells? How are you feeling?
Every passing moment provides an opportunity for us to be mindful. You can start right now, reading this blog post.
And how will mindfulness make a difference to me? There are so many great benefits to mindfulness. We feel like we are going slower, but we still get things done! We start to let go of the stress and anxiety that so many of us feel on a day to day basis. Our focus becomes sharper. Our relationships with others, and of course ourselves, naturally starts to change for the better too. We experience fewer conflicts and we start to experience more balance. And of course we give our minds a well earned rest!
Who doesn’t want more of that?!
Mindfulness is not something we ‘do’ but it is more a state of ‘being’. As we practice we become more aware of our actions and our reactions to certain people and situations, so that we can change them for the better…..
What happens when I forget and get caught up again in the busyness of everyday life? Sometimes we do fall off the band wagon. But don’t worry, it’s part of the process and it takes some practice.
As soon as you realise that your mind has become distracted, you are being mindful. Simply remind yourself to come back to the present moment. It’s a bit of a cycle. We are mindful. We get distracted. We realise we are distracted. We become mindful again…. and so it continues.
This is how it is for me. And over time I have become quicker and quicker at noticing when I’m mindful and when I’m not.  I’m certainly not perfect at it, but I have definitely got better! I am less stressed and anxious about what I can’t control, I approach things with a calmer attitude and I have better relationships than I have ever had before. I no longer take hours to fall asleep because I can’t switch off. The benefits are endless! Remember Start small. Just start with one moment at a time. When you recognise that your mind has wondered then bring your attention back to the moment. Even if that’s just 10 seconds. Giving your mind a rest for 10 seconds is better than nothing.
If you are interested in working one-on-one with me, then I offer 5 FREE mindfulness coaching sessions every month.  
To reserve a place before they book up, CLICK HERE.