Archive for November, 2018

How to accept all parts of yourself (warts and all)

Do you wish you didn’t have certain negative feelings? 

Do you believe when you eradicate all your negative thoughts everything will be ok? 

There seems to be a perception that once you eliminate, or transcend, your negative feelings, everything will be ok. 

But that’s not entirely true. 

We all have feelings and thoughts that feel good and those that, quite frankly, don’t feel so good. 

You’re not alone.

It’s my experience that when you seek to eliminate all your negative thoughts and emotions, that’s when things can really feel like an uphill struggle. 

It’s therefore much more important that you chose what you want to do with those thoughts and emotions. You can hold onto them and let them shape your day. Or you can see they are part of what makes you, you.

As you learn to accept and work with anything that doesn’t feel so good, that’s where true transformation happens. 

Thoughts are just thoughts. 

Feelings are just feelings. 

Until you assign meaning to them. 

When you assign meaning to those thoughts and feelings, you act on them. 

The outcome is that you get results that reflect those actions. 

You then get results that are either wanted or unwanted; good or not so good. 

Here are 4 steps for how to accept all parts of yourself (warts and all)

  1. Nothing is perfect. Rather than trying to get rid of the not so good feelings, acknowledge that they are there. Ask ‘what is this thought/feeling trying to highlight’? Perhaps there’s something you need to change or do differently. 
  2. Embrace the positive and negative. We have to experience the polarity to experience the good. How would you know what happiness feels like, if you’ve never known sadness? 
  3. Nothing’s permanent. We move through all thoughts and feelings. Good and not so good. Know that everything passes. This really helps me when feelings of fear, frustration or sadness come. When I accept things will change, it actually changes quicker than I expect. 
  4. We’re all unique. If you never felt anger what would motivate you to change? I know my anger about waste in our society led me to campaign for it, educate others and look at how I can do even more in my own life. I turned anger to passion. Use the energy of feelings to motivate you to create positive change – in yourself, in society, or for others. Don’t avoid them, it’s what make you, you.

When you accept all parts of you, your ego and your ‘shadow’ side, you can work with all aspects of yourself equally. You let go, you accept yourself and see the potential in others to do the same. 

This is where true transformation happens. 

Remember:  Start small and build from there. 

Much love,

Natasha x 

P.S. What one thing are you struggling to accept about yourself right now? By doing something different you will start to find a solution that works for you, and step closer towards your vision of who and what you want to be. Give it a go, what have you got to lose?

P.P.S Send me an email – I’d love to hear how you are getting on, or let me know if you’re struggling and need a little inspiration to make a start!

Are you clear about what you want to achieve but never quite seem to be able to get there? Or are you constantly running into road blocks that are stopping you from achieving your vision? 

Do you wonder if you’re just on the wrong path and it would be easier to just turn back?

I wrote a blog a few weeks ago about resistance and how it can help you move forward – you can read it HERE.

A client asked me this week “How do I know if it’s resistance or whether I’m just on the wrong path?”

This is a great question, because actually it can be tricky to tell the difference, especially if you’re in the thick of it and everything’s feeling like a bit of a struggle.

Firstly, let me explain what resistant is. Resistance shows up differently for many of us. But it will likely show up in the form of procrastination, distraction, lack of motivation, confusion, drama, doubt or even down-right fear. 

Do you recognise a few of those?

Remember, that it’s normal for resistance to show up as you head out of your comfort zone and towards any new outcome or goal. But resistance is often the reason why people just give up too soon!

When you expect a bit of resistance to show up, you get wise to it and you’re able to more easily push through it!

So how do you know if it’s resistance then? It’s quite simple really. Resistance, when you persist, will eventually wear off. As you push through resistance, things actually get easier. 

Read more on my blog here OR watch the video below

Here’s a simple example:

This is resistance. You’re tired but really feel you ‘should’ go to the gym when you really want to go home and relax on the sofa. But you go anyway. To start with, it’s a real struggle but after about 15 minutes or so it gets easier and you end your gym session feeling energised and great! 

This is probably the wrong path: Or after 1/2 hour in the gym it still feels like a struggle. Perhaps your back starts to ache but you keep going. At the end of your session you feel exhausted, in pain and de-motivated. That was the wrong path. Perhaps what you needed instead was a gentle stroll or jog through the park or a bike ride. 

So what will help to you recognise if it’s resistance or not:

  1. Be clear on your goal.  Is your goal actually what you want? Or is it something you feel you should be doing? If you don’t really want it, it will always be a struggle to get there. 
  1. Take aligned action. When you’re clear on your goal take purposeful action that’s aligned to achieving your goal. If persistent resistance shows up you might just need to find a different route rather than giving up on the goal entirely.  
  1. Stay motivated towards your goal. Don’t give up on something that you truly desire deep within you and don’t let resistance derail you. Remind yourself often why you want this goal and why it’s important to you.
  1. Resistance will wear off.  Remember resistance is normal as we head out of our comfort zone, but don’t keep going for the sake of it. 

Remember:  Start small and build from there. 

Much love,

Natasha x 

P.S. Is resistance getting in the way of your big vision? By doing something different you will start to find a solution that helps you get closer to your vision. Give it a go, what have you got to lose?

P.P.S Reply via email – I’d love to hear how you are getting on, or let me know if you’re struggling and need a little inspiration to make a start!